Last night, the Metropolitan Museum of Art in New York hosted the 2013 Met Gala. This year’s theme was “Punk: From Chaos To Couture.” For many celebrities, this was the first time they had used the word “punk” in a sentence that wasn’t “Have my assistant get me Daft Punk tickets.”

[…]

“I skipped punk and went straight to couture. I never did punk.”
 —Andre Leon Talley, editor at large of Vogue/total fucking clown


“I did not [have a punk phase]. That’s why I think my version of punk for me is not probably the mohawk, typical punk that you’d sort of envision. A little bit more like ‘romantic punk.” 
—Kim Kardashian, notable reality TV shithead


“I don’t think I fully understood the theme.”
 —Kate Upton, human Viagra for Terry Richardson

{ Jaded Punk | Continue reading }

After checking your bank account, remember to log out, close your web browser, and throw your computer into the ocean.

[…]

For those of you using a smartphone or tablet, the process for securely closing your banking session is very similar, except that you should find the nearest canyon and throw your device into that canyon. We then recommend simply scaling down the cliff face, locating the shattered remnants of your device, and spending the next few weeks traversing the country burying each individual piece in separate holes of varying depths several hundred miles apart.

{ The Onion | Continue reading | Thanks Tim }

related { As digital data expands, anonymity may become a mathematical impossibility. }

The hipster haunts every city street and university town. Manifesting a nostalgia for times he never lived himself, this contemporary urban harlequin appropriates outmoded fashions (the mustache, the tiny shorts), mechanisms (fixed-gear bicycles, portable record players) and hobbies (home brewing, playing trombone). He harvests awkwardness and self-consciousness. Before he makes any choice, he has proceeded through several stages of self-scrutiny.

{ Christy Wampole/NY Times via | Gothamist | Continue reading }

As most of us over at io9 have come to understand, Kinja sucks tremendous balls, but not just any balls; the balls Kinja sucks are actually singularities, over the event horizon of which it has passed, so that it may achieve infinite sucking.

{ reluctant.meatbag/gawker | Continue reading }

{ via Brad Feuerhelm }

Newsflash you stupid cocks: FRATS DON’T LIKE BORING SORORITIES. Oh wait, DOUBLE FUCKING NEWSFLASH: SIGMA NU IS NOT GOING TO WANT TO HANG OUT WITH US IF WE FUCKING SUCK.

{ via Gawker | Continue reading }

unrelated { Is gratitude always good? No. }

“We really wanted to be a power couple when we got together in our early twenties,” says Julie softly. “We were both going to work and raise our kids together, taking on equal responsibility. But my commitment to my job meant Rob had to take on a lot of female-gendered roles, like cooking and cleaning, and we rarely had sex because we were both tired. It just wasn’t fun. We were sleep deprived, overweight, and had a healthy bank account.”

Rob laughs, as if the answer was simple and under their noses the entire time.

“We thought one day: Wow! We’re not taking advantage of our economically superior position as educated cisgendered heterosexual white people! We need to start capitalizing on this shit. Julie can stay at home working on her blog and tweeting about the kids, I can spend more time earning money and feeding my sense of self-importance. I mean – fuck everyone else who doesn’t have our opportunities in life. If you’re a single black mother on welfare, that’s your problem. We have mediocre sex at least once a week now and Julie’s blog had fifty unique page views last month.”

{ The World Breaks Everyone | Continue reading | Thanks Max }

{ Kickstarter }

{ A man dressed as Batman has handed over a wanted man at a Bradford police station before disappearing into the night. }

{ The Amazing Transparent Man, 1960 }