Seek serenity to accept what you cannot change, courage to change what you can, and wisdom to know the difference. (…)

We usually have far less control over and understanding of our relations than we think. Sure we can list features we like and dislike, all else equal. And we might be mostly correct about which way those features influence our attraction. Even so, we mostly just don’t know why we like some and dislike others. Sometimes we don’t even realize who it is we like and dislike.

If we calculate that it would be in our interest to like or dislike someone more, we have only a very limited ability to actually make ourselves do this. Even when we decide we’d be better off breaking it off a relation, we can find that quite hard to actually do so. More likely we’ll break something off and then make up reasons about why that was a good idea.

{ Overcoming Bias | Continue reading }

images { 1. unsourced | 2. Toshio Saeki | More: Toshio Saeki, Japan’s master of erotic illustration }

ideas, relationships | December 2nd, 2010