For my fate gives me time


Interview with Curt Cobain, January 27, 1994 issue of Rolling Stone

Along with everything else that went wrong onstage tonight, you left without playing “Smells like Teen Spirit.” Why?

That would have been the icing on the cake. That would have made everything twice as worse. I don’t even remember the guitar solo on “Teen Spirit.” It would take me five minutes to sit in the catering room and learn the solo. (…)

Have you ever been that consumed with distress or pain or rage that you actually wanted to kill yourself?

For five years during the time I had my stomach problem, yeah. I wanted to kill myself every day. I came very close many times. I’m sorry to be so blunt about it. It was to the point where I was on tour, lying on the floor, vomiting air because I couldn’t hold down water. And then I had to play a show in 20 minutes. I would sing and cough up blood. This is no way to live a life. I love to play music, but something was not right. So I decided to medicate myself.

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photo { Tierney Gearon }